August 2012
132 posts
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When Someone is Trying to Get My Attention During...
turianfetish:
lolzpicx:
#and god help you if I die
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Batman: Really, all superheroes are pretty much the same. We’re all just orphans. I’m an orphan. You’re an orphan. Robin’s an orphan.
Superman: Spiderman’s an orphan.
Batman: Yeah! Spiderman’s an orphan! So is Ironman! And Cyclopse! And Wolverine, ALL the X-Men. Listen, the point is that something bad happened to us once when we were young. So we dedicated our whole lives to doing a little bit of good. That’s why we got into this crazy superhero business! Not to be the most popular, or even the most powerful. Because if that were the case, hell, you’d have the rest of us put out of a job! You can fly, you can crush things with your bare hands, you’ve got x-ray vision! You can see girls’ totties whenever you want! You know, Clark, I think that maybe the reason I was such an asshole to you...I think you’re cool, man.
Superman: I think you’re cool too!
Batman: So why the fuck aren’t we friends?!
Superman: I don’t know!
Batman: Well I don’t know either! We probably should be friends.
Superman: Maybe we can hang out in your cave sometime?
Batman: Yeah, maybe. Or maybe we can hang out in your ICE FORTRESS! In Antarctica! Agh, that is COOL! And you’ve got Krypto, the Super Dog! He’s cool! Dogs are cool.
Superman: Some people think Krypto’s stupid.
Batman: Fuck them, you know what, some people think that Robin’s stupid, but those people are pretentious douchebags, because literally the only difference between me and Robin is our costumes. Robin’s cool. Krypto’s cool. Antman is cool. The Atom is cool. Plasticman? Agh! Gloves, capes, masks! Agh, superheros are cool, man! Helping people is cool. And you? You’re god damn great at helping people! So come on, there’s a city right now full of people that need your help. So where is that man, Clark? Where’s that man who can jump over a building? Where’s that man who’s more powerful than a locomotive? Where’s that man who’s faster than a gun? Where. Is. That. Superman?
Superman: I’m right here! I know what I have to do. I’m going to have to fly faster than I’ve ever flown before. Batman, I’ll see you on the other side.
Batman and Robin: Thank you, Superman.
